Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
