i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize