okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
