my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
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You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
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So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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