I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
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you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
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It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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