Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
we're making bets on your personal life
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
