I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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