I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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