i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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