if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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