oh god the rape fog is back!
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
