Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize