it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
