It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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