I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
