Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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