I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
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I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
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I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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