I'm laying in your front yard are you home
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
