Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it because I queefed?
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize