i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
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