honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Randomize
