no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
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