He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
