I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
