WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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