Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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