Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
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His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
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