i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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