It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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