So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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