He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
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