i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I love you. Go after that dick
I came so hard my ears popped.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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