I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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