i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Randomize
