I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
