I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
