That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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