Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
