Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
