You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
