DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
