All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Randomize
