i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
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I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
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The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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