My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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