real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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