that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
