Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
