There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
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