Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
