You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
