Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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