Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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