Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
