nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
