that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Randomize
