dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
